Colombian haircut lookin’ like Pablo Escobar’s pubes got a fresh lawnmower ride, all slicked back and shiny like the coOCA residue on a stripper’s fake tits, perched on top of a dump-truck ass that’s smugglin’ two bald eagles and a dream. Bro walkin’ around like his barber fucked his side chick in the chair and the tip was extra volume—hair taller than his credit score, tits faker than his passport, ass so injected it’s got its own zip code in Miami.