Reasons Why I’m Leaving You

You walk in the door and see Countess Diamond packed up, suitcase in hand, ready to leave. She was planning to leave a note, but since you’re here she’ll just tell you in person. She’s done with this relationship, and she’s leaving you. You’re inadequate, lazy, and simply not good enough. The reasons go on, and she is more than happy to explain in detail why she’s dumping you.