Sub Slut Body Shaver

AYO, listen up you crusty little landing strip merchant— you call that a pussy? That’s not a coochie, that’s a fucking golf course with one sad wilted flag still hanging on for dear life. Whole box looking like it got GRRR by a blind Pakistani barber during Ramadan, trembling razor in one hand, “Inshallah it grows back straight” prayers in the other. Bitch you ain’t shaving, you’re doing fuckin’ deforestation. Save some trees for the planet, you greedy clit-clearing chainsaw. Every time you spread them legs it’s like watching a before-and-after pube-razor commercial except the “after” picture is still crime scene footage. Go sit on a cheese grater and call it edging, you discount Brazillian butcher. NEXT GOONIE.